


Take Me Out

by castielnov4k



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Confessions, Dark, Demon Cure, Demon Dean, First Kiss, Kissing, Love, Relationship(s), Season/Series 10, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 16:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3140258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielnov4k/pseuds/castielnov4k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean goes dark side. Cas remembers the promise he made. <br/>But he sure as hell has no intentions of keeping it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me Out

Sam poured another glass of whiskey, and sat there contemplating it.

"What are we going to do, Cas?" Sam asked softly, finally lifting the glass to his mouth.

Cas looked up at Sam, and knew exactly to what he was referring.

"I mean, we tried curing him," Sam said in a tone completely devoid of life. "It was only temporary. So we do that again, but there are no guarantees that it will work for a second time. And then we do it a third time, a fourth time. I mean, do we keep curing him for the rest of his life?"

"I don't know, Sam," Cas lied quietly, looking down again. He couldn't look Sam in the eye.

Sam finished his drink, stared at the glass again momentarily, stood up from the table and threw the glass at the bunker wall, where it smashed loudly. Cas didn't flinch or look up.

"I'm going to bed," Sam mumbled sullenly after a pause. He left the room, stumbling slightly.

_Don't let Sam get in the way, because he'll try._

The request whispered in Cas's head yet again, as Cas reached across the table to grab the abandoned bottle of whiskey. The voice had not stopped plaguing the angel since they had walked in through that front door and seen Dean kneeling there, sprayed with blood. Heard Claire scream shrilly and feel her horrified body press into him, turning away from the scene they were standing in. Seen Sam run to Dean and beg him to say that it was him or them, that he had no choice. Heard Dean croak that he didn't mean to.

_If I do go dark side, you gotta take me out._

Cas took a swig from the bottle.

Claire was now in the spare room where Charlie had once slept, after quietly sobbing herself to sleep in Cas's arms on the drive here. As hard as her life had been after she lost her father, Cas knew nothing she had ever experienced had prepared her for what she had seen tonight. That shock had allowed her to pretend for the time it had taken her to fall asleep that her dad had returned and was in the backseat of the Impala, ready to hold her and comfort her for as long as she wanted.

Apart from Claire's weeping, the Impala had been completely silent. Cas had felt the quiet fear rolling off Sam in waves as he clenched the steering wheel with white knuckles, glancing over at his brother every few seconds. His body had not relaxed for the entire journey.

Dean, on the other hand, had simply been blank of emotion, as far as Cas had been able to tell. He made no attempt at struggling against the confines that Sam had shakily put around his wrists. He just lay slumped in the shotgun seat, staring out the window into complete darkness.

That emptiness terrified Cas more than he could say. This kind of fear was one he had never experienced before. Even during the Apocalypse, his fear had made him stronger and more determined to defeat his brother. Now Cas was just paralysed.

_I can't go down that road again, man. I can't be that thing again._

Cas stood up from the table and walked to the dungeon. As he walked, he thought he felt his angel blade grow heavier with every step. It seemed to press into his side through his trenchcoat pocket, reminding him of its presence.

He reached the dungeon and with a deep breath, pushed open the door.

Cas was hit with a strong wave of déjà vu as he saw Dean sitting in the chair, as he had been months before. However, Cas knew that Dean was not yet the same thing as he had been. Cas had been able to see Dean's true demonic form then; black and twisted, truly like smoke, mutating the Righteous Man almost beyond recognition. Now, it was like Cas was human again and unable to see what was happening past the exterior skin.

Dean looked up at Cas through long eyelashes, his expression defeated.

"Hey Cas," Dean greeted, lacking usual animation. "Remembered the promise that you made me?"

"You mean the one I was forced to make when you backed me into a corner?" Cas shot back, before calming his tone. "Yes, I did."

Dean did not flinch, just continued staring at Cas. "Well, there's no time like the present. Go ahead."

Cas stood there, face stony like usual, as still as a rock. Then, without warning, Cas threw a furious punch into the side of Dean's head.

"You know, it might be quicker to just use your blade," Dean muttered, spitting out blood.

"You stupid, selfish son of a bitch," Cas snarled at him. "For putting this burden on my shoulders. I didn't deserve this kind of crap."

In frustration, Cas swung another blow into Dean's other side.

Cas grabbed Dean's head and pulled him up to look him in the eye. It was similar to how Dean had held Cas's face in April's apartment, imploring Cas to answer as he cried his name.

"How could you ask me to do that?" Cas demanded, putting his face closer to Dean's. "How could you think that that was a fair thing to ask of me? After I fell, after I rebelled, after I gave everything I had for you. You're just going to give up? Again? And make me deliver the final blow? Screw you, Dean, screw you."

"Cas-?"

"You think that after all we've been through together, after all the times we've called each other family, after all the times that we've stood together against the world, that I'd be able to kill you? I was forced by Naomi to slaughter clones of you thousands of times. I had to hear you pleading my name through broken teeth and blood, had to feel your life bleed out from between my fingers, had to watch the light flicker out of your eyes, over and over again. And yet, when the time came in that crypt, the screamed demands of heaven were drowned out by a single beaten voice, telling me you needed me. And suddenly, it was like the world went silent and my mission was clear again. Not just heaven's mission - 'save the righteous man' - but my own personal purpose in life. It's as ingrained and paramount to me as 'look after your little brother'. It took one touch in Hell six years ago to realise that you - your safety - is the bane of my whole existence. Even Metatron knew that. He knew that I would always choose saving one man - Dean Winchester - above anything and everything else. And he used it to his advantage, by forcing me to make a choice when there had never been more than one option, and surrender my army to him. You chose to believe that my actions simply reflected my love of humanity as a whole, repressing the idea of another dangerously co-dependent relationship in your life. You didn't need another weakness that your enemies could use against you, having experienced the painful consequences firsthand. Instead, you needed me to be someone who could 'take you out' when it became necessary, blatantly ignoring the signs that I was already too far gone to be that for you.

"You forced me to make you a promise, Dean," Cas reminded, his voice breaking. "But this is me breaking that promise. Because I can't do this, anymore than Sam can."

Cas pulled out his blade and threw it to the ground.

Dean stared at him speechlessly. He was barely aware of the tears that had begun to slip from his eyes while Cas had been speaking. Cas felt his anger dissipate as he gazed into the unbelievably green eyes. Those damn eyes had been his downfall more than once.

Cas looked down to where Dean's wrists were bound to the chair, and began undoing the knots.

"Cas-"

"No," Cas said firmly as he worked. "You're not going to stay locked up in here like a rabid animal. We're going to work this out. Together."

Dean grabbed Cas's wrist as he finished and began to move away. Cas's gaze flickered back up to Dean's face. Dean's eyes stayed on Cas's for a moment, before flicking down to his lips. He began tugging on Cas's arm, drawing him even closer.

"You really believe we three will be enough?" Dean whispered.

"We always have been," Cas responded softly.

Then, their lips met and in one wild crazy second the world around them had ceased to exist.

Dean grabbed Cas's back and pulled him close. Cas, aware of the chair blocking him, climbed onto Dean's lap, never breaking their kiss. Dean tangled his hands in Cas's hair as their lips moved together in a passionate struggle to taste and feel as much of each other as they possibly could. Cas pushed Dean's lips apart and felt their breath combine in a way that introduced a level of intimacy that neither of them had experienced before. They did not allow any space between their bodies, pressing everything they had into each other.

Dean felt the sensation from the Mark, which had been throbbing as it slowly ate away at his humanity, dull, as the energy radiating off Cas ignited his body from head to toe. The grace met and danced with the demon smoke, enticing and teasing it closer. The grace wove itself around the gradually darkening smoke, until the smoke was engulfed and destroyed by a sudden flash of fire, still mesmerised by the beauty of the grace.

Cas sensed the return of his Dean, of all his emotion and his essence, as soon as the smoke burnt out. He opened his eyes, finding that they had begun to dampen with tears.

"Dean?" he urged, taking a moment to pull back slightly.

Dean blinked twice, his eyes soft and shocked. He looked down at his arm.

The Mark had disappeared.

"Yeah, Cas, it's me," Dean choked in a quiet sob, reaching out to touch Cas's cheek. He pushed their lips together again frantically. "It's me. It's me."

After what simultaneously seemed like an eternity and no time at all, Cas pulled back again slightly to laugh gently against Dean's mouth.

"You mean, this whole time, this was all we had to do?"

"Last damn time I ever try pushing down my desires again," Dean swore with all his heart, in between pressing fervent kisses to Cas's lips.


End file.
